i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
