It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
