All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
