I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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