what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
