I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
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