you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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