Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
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