I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
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