so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I FOUND THE LEGS
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize