pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
There's even glitter on my cock...
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