So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
