Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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