I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
