so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
