3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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