I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
