is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
