filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize