if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
