For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
