If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize
