Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
