Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I'm bleeding and have questions
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