so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
