you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
