if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I wish you could order shots online.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
