Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
