I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
She announced her abortion via fbk
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
