some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
