After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
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