I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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