that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
