Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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