i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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