she was so not down for the gang bang
i just google imaged poop.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
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