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she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
