This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize