Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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