Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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