I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
