I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
