your thong is hanging out like whoa
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
