I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
