Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
