you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
