I wish I could teleport
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Randomize