i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
