Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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