i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
