I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize