All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
