There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
