I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
