We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
