ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
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