Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
