1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
