How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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