we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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