I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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