so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
